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Ever get a case of bedroom déjà vu? Once you discover a few no-fail tricks for touching her vagina and bringing her to ograsm, it’s hard not to fall into a sexual routine.
And although women often worry about taking too long to climax, they also don’t want to hit their peak in 60 seconds flat—which is what can happen if you go straight to your failsafe move every time.
By contrast, if you switch things up, you may find that her experience is more satisfying, since delaying her orgasm can make it stronger, says Brandon.
Plus, “novel experiences elevate dopamine in the brain, and that promotes bonding,” adds Yvonne Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Touch Me Here.
1. Open her hood.
There’s a little flap of skin that covers her clitoris when she’s not fully aroused—and it’s begging to be played with.
“The clitoral hood is actually an extension of the inner lips,” says Fulbright. “It can be its own feel-good spot.”
Early on in your encounter—before she’s gotten so turned on that her hood retracts—give the hot spot on her vagina a little love: Trace her inner labia upwards until you find the fold just above her clitoris, and stroke it with your fingertips, making sure your digits are sufficiently slick with lube.
When she’s ready for direct clitoral contact, “you can use your thumb to push that skin up a little bit toward her belly button,” says Brandon.
2. Find her G-spot.
When it comes to G-spot stimulation, most guys know one classic technique: Insert a finger inside her vag1na, palm up, and use a come-hither movement to stimulate her. But what if that doesn’t work?
Don’t give up your search for her hidden pleasure zone just yet.
“The G-spot is not necessarily right in the middle of that front wall [of the vag1na],” Fulbright says. “It might be a little more to one side or a little lower.”
Her advice: Using at least two fingers, massage as much of the region as you can comfortably reach—and make sure she’s already wet before you work your way in.
“If she’s excited, the area is a little raised and rough,” says Fulbright. “If she’s not aroused enough, it’s going to be almost impossible to find.”
3. Cup her vag1na.
Her outer labia may not be as sensitive as the rest of her lady parts—and that means it’s a prime place to start when you’re warming her up for an orgasm.
When you’re making out, slip a hand down south and simply cup her vag1na, pressing lightly. “This starts the blood flow and begins the process of arousal,” says Brandon. “It’s a gentle way to bring her into the experience.”
4. Play on her mound.
First, an anatomy lesson: Atop her pubic bone, there’s a mound of fatty tissue where her pubic hair grows called the mons pubis.
“When you play with the mons pubis, you can indirectly stimulate the clitoris,” says Fulbright.
To wake up the region, use the heel of your hand to press downward on the mound, in the direction of her clitoris.
5. Give her a massage.
Before you part the outer lips of her vag1na, give them a little attention.
That said, taking your time before touching her clit can do wonders for her arousal—so press her labia majora between your thumb and index finger, rubbing back and forth with a gentle massaging motion, then gently tug her lips upward.
If she doesn’t shave, you can even lightly pull at her pubic hair, Fulbright suggests.
6. Circle her hot spot.
As tempting as it is to race to her clitoris, tease her a little before touching down.
First, apply a little lube—hint: simply dip a digit into her vag1na—to the padded part of your finger, and circle her clitoris, applying a firm, consistent pressure.
“The circling motion is one of the most popular with women during masturbation,”says Fulbright.
7. Caress her cervix.
If your girlfriend prefers deep penetration, she probably enjoys the sensation of cervical contact—and your pen1s isn’t the only part of your body that can reach it.
“When she’s excited, the cervix does pull back some,” says Brandon.
“But the typical vag1na is not that long.” So insert your finger until you can’t go any further, and gently massage her cervix, applying more pressure only if she responds with pleasure.
“It can be really, really sensitive, so try it gently,” Brandon warns.
8. Re-angle her body.
Stick with your standard way of stimulating her—the one that really gets her going—but switch up the position.
“It will feel different because a woman’s body is so supremely sensitive that these little shifts can be pretty dramatic to her,” says Brandon. “She’s also going to have a different emotional reaction to what you’re doing.”
In other words, if she’s normally lying on her back when you get her off with an orgasm, trying the same technique on all fours can feel more animalistic.
So get creative: Have her lean against a wall, bend over the kitchen counter, or stand up straight—then execute the move she loves best.
9. Stimulate her vag1nal opening.
Unless you’re a high-school boy, you’ve learned by now that fingering a woman—just gliding in and out—doesn’t do much for her.
Stick with your standard way of stimulating her—the one that really gets her going—but switch up the position.
“It will feel different because a woman’s body is so supremely sensitive that these little shifts can be pretty dramatic to her,” says Brandon. “She’s also going to have a different emotional reaction to what you’re doing.”
In other words, if she’s normally lying on her back when you get her off with an orgasm, trying the same technique on all fours can feel more animalistic.
So get creative: Have her lean against a wall, bend over the kitchen counter, or stand up straight—then execute the move she loves best.
9. Stimulate her vag1nal opening.
Unless you’re a high-school boy, you’ve learned by now that fingering a woman—just gliding in and out—doesn’t do much for her.
But that doesn’t mean hands-off altogether: “Use two or three fingers to work your way in and out, but make sure you’re not just going up and down—firmly rub against the lower vag1nal canal,” says Fulbright.
You can even linger in the opening of her vagina, moving your fingers in a circular motion, without ever taking them out completely.
“Most of the nerve endings are in the lower third of her vag1na,” says Brandon. “Women like to feel really full at the opening.”
10. Play the piano.
Place your index finger on one side of her clitoris, your middle finger on the other side, and pretend you’re playing the piano, going back and forth, from side to side, suggests Fulbright.
Rhythmic motions are typically the most pleasurable ones for women—and stimulating the sensitive skin next to her clitoris is an easy way to build arousal and anticipation for an orgasm, she says.
Eventually, you can move one finger so it’s on top of her clitoris itself for a more intense version of this move.
11. Be the horse to her cowgirl.
This trick gives whole new meaning to the cowgirl position: Have your partner sit on top of your inner arm, so her vulva is resting on your wrist and lower forearm.
“Place your hand between her legs and cup her butt,” says Fulbright. Then have her grind against your arm, and once she’s established a rhythm, move your arm to match the pace and intensity she prefers.
“You’re able to touch a lot more surface area—it allows the whole area to come alive, instead of just one particular spot,” she says.
Plus, the vag1nal stimulation tends to be less direct—and therefore more tolerable for super-sensitive gals.
12. Sweep the region.
When you’re warming her up, graze your whole hand down the length of her vulva, using long, sweeping strokes.
Keep it fleeting—don’t worry about hitting all her nooks and crannies along the way.
“If you’re dipping inside, it’s harder to make things rhythmic and smooth,” says Fulbright. “There’s one thing that women tell me gets them off: being rhythmic and consistent.”
13. Get both hands in on the action.
Use the thumb and index finger of one hand to spread her labia, and use your other hand to stimulate her clitoris, suggests Fulbright.
Not only will opening her up give you better access to the pleasure zones of her vag1na, it will make her feel a little vulnerable—which can be highly arousing.
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